Breaking the tension – by breaking wind

A little ‘potty humour’ for a Friday.

For my little sister’s 30th birthday last month I made her this card.
Crissi - happy birthdayI can’t even look at it without cracking up. Is it because I remember that day? Is it because of her face? No, it is the farting. This may come as a shock and out of ordinary for my writing, but if you have been really listening to my Lazenby stories, you’ll realize everything is out of the ordinary.  In our family “potty humour” (as my dad once put it and has never lived it down) is not appropriate. We don’t usually swear (at each other or flagrantly), we don’t tell lewd or racy jokes (or many), and we fast forwarded through sex-scenes in movies until we were 18 (like the stop and fast forward kind so you can’t even see it happening in super speed – which also means we missed 3/5 of every movie we watched because you never knew when the scene ended).

But for some reason we fart and it is hilarious. Well, it is hilarious in the following circumstances:

1. It is hilarious for an ‘older generation’ to fart in front of the younger generation as long as they immediately reference the ‘low flying ducks this season’ and then chuckle almost silently. The younger person must not laugh openly however, or fart back.

2. It is okay fart on the couch while every one is watching a movie, as long as you make it silent and not be the first to notice it. Then you can laugh hysterically and take all the credit. You will also likely get a bigger portion of the couch as a result.

3. The Dutch-Oven – doesn’t matter how old we are, for some reason this is still ultra-cool…well amongst the ‘siblings’. Do not attempt on a mother, father or aunt. This will backfire! A great way to initiate the younger generation and up your awesomeness-status with the kiddos.

4. Farting in public places – I don’t know how this started, and it is really just my siblings that can get away with this one – I want to scold them (and I want to run away mortified) but somehow I always end of laughing. Elevators, the grocery store aisle, on the wooden bleachers at a sporting event. Silent or Rip-Roaring, they don’t discriminate.

5. Being a fart observer (direct or indirect) – for example the toilet scene from Dumb & Dumber or the Great Crepitation Competition of 1946 (if you haven’t heard this audio gem that was popular in the 70s don’t open it at work – my father sent this to me, it is killer). If we happen upon a farter out in public, a sneaky farter in our midst, or the kids fart at the dinner table we are discreet and do our best to withhold the belly laughter, but there is usually no hope if there is more than one of us present. There is no age limit in this category, we hear it, we laugh. End of story.

So why are we like this? The Lazenbys are uptight (or so we have been told) …yes? Well, perhaps that is the key. We are uptight (or keep up the impression that we are uptight to outsiders), and this causes an awful lot of tension. So, naturally, our obsession with fart humour helps ease the tension? Literally?!

 

 

 

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